Resources for Citizen Diplomats

Put Your Best Hand Forward

World Citizens Guide

Dine Like A Diplomat

True Civility is in the Details

Put Your Best Hand Forward

You have been asked to host a delegation ofGerman dignitaries whose friendship may be valuable to your community. As a citizen diplomat, you want to make a great impression. At the airport, you watch the delegation walk toward you. You reach out to shake their hands without taking your left hand out of your pocket. Unfortunately, shaking hands while leaving your other hand in your pocket is considered extremely rude in Germany.

It is clear that understanding how different cultures meet and greet is essential in today’s corporate and diplomatic worlds. With a little knowledge, you can ensure that your greeting is the foundation of a good first impression in any culture.

In the United States, it doesn’t matter who extends a hand first, although the person who reaches out first demonstrates the take charge attitude that is valued in America. When you are meeting Western and Eastern Europeans, the ranking person should extend his or her hand first. It is considered respectful to shake hands with the oldest person or the one of senior rank first. An American woman should initiate a handshake with a European male executive by extending her hand. If you are introduced to someone while you are sitting down, it is always advisable to stand, both to show respect and to avoid having someone looking down on you.

When shaking hands in America, reach out with confidence and make a conscious effort to communicate your most positive intentions. Make good “web to web” contact using a firm grip and pump a few times from the elbow. Once you’ve mastered the basic American handshake it is second nature. The real challenge is mastering the bows, air kisses, and forearm grips that new friends from other cultures will appreciate.

Great Britain: A light handshake is standard in business, both in greeting and at departure. A man traditionally waits for a woman to offer her hand first. A handshake is not always correct at social gatherings so watch to see what others do.

France: The French shake hands with everyone, upon both greeting and departure. The handshake is light and brief. Friends and family may hug and kiss both cheeks.

Germany: Like the French, Germans shake hands with everyone upon arriving at and departing meetings and events. The handshake will be firm but brief. Remember, leaving one hand in a pocket while shaking hands or while speaking is considered very rude in Germany.

Italy: Italians shake hands with everyone upon greeting and departure. The handshake is firm with good eye contact and may include a grasp of the arm with the other hand. An Italian gentleman waits for a woman to offer her hand first.

Arab Countries: Men offer a light, lingering handshake that might include an embrace and kisses on both checks. Follow your host’s lead. Handshaking is normal for Arab women who often travel to Western countries, but it is not their custom in Arab countries. Don’t give or receive anything with your left hand.

China: Chinese people greet with a bow, nod, wave, and with a light, lingering handshake. Any of these gestures may be used upon greeting and departure. Wait for the Chinese to offer a hand, and always greet the senior person first. As a gesture of respect, their eyes may be slightly averted.

Japan: The Japanese greet with a bow and light handshake. Always return a bow with a bow. A light bow and nod of the head with eyes cast down is acceptable from Westerners. Western educated Japanese people often shake hands and make eye contact.

Indonesia, Pakistan, and Sri Lanka:
The Western handshake may be used in these countries with the grip being less firm than an American handshake. Avoid giving or receiving anything with your left hand, which is considered taboo. The most important advice we offer is to do your homework on greetings and other sensitive etiquette and protocol issues before you leave home to visit a foreign country. Your first impression can be your best impression. Bon Voyage!

**This article is courtesy of The Protocol School of Washington. Please contact info@psow.com for copyright or reprint information.

World Citizens Guide

Visit the World Citizen Guide website to find guides that enourage understanding of some basic yet important principles about traveling, working, and living around the globe.

Dine Like a Diplomat

You have been invited to an elegant, four-course dinner honoring an important ambassador to the United States. This exciting invitation is a great opportunity for you, as a citizen diplomat, to brush up on the table manners that will help ensure you have a lovely and comfortable evening.

After an ice-breaking “mix and mingle” featuring champagne with tiny bubbles, your host suggests that guests move into the dining room. (We couldn’t resist mentioning bubble size. Tiny bubbles are one characteristic of good champagne.) In the dining room, approach the right side of your chair and enter it from your left side. While a woman shouldn’t assume a man will seat her at dinner, it is gracious to accept this courtesy with a sincere “thank you.” Sit straight against the back of your chair. Keep elbows close to your sides when eating and never place elbows or forearms on the table. If you have adopted the continental style of eating, you can rest your hands on the table from the wrist up. The host leads the way by picking up his napkin first. Follow suit. If you need to excuse yourself during dinner, simply say in a quiet voice, “Please excuse me.”

Push your chair back from the table and exit from the same side you entered. Leave your napkin on your chair and push the chair back under the table.

Conquer the Continental Style

When you eat in the continental style, the most noticeable difference is how you handle your knife and fork to cut food. Place the knife in your right palm and the fork in your left. Secure them with your thumbs and curl the rest of the fingers around the handles of the knife and fork. Your index fingers extend down to the blade of your knife and just below the tines of your fork. Cut one piece of meat at a time. Keeping your fork tines down, use the fork to pierce the meat with the tines. Bring the fork, tines down, to your mouth by twisting your wrist and raising the fork to your mouth.

The knife remains in your hand. A small amount of potatoes, rice, or vegetables may be placed on the fork tines with the meat. To indicate to the server that you are not finished, place the knife across the center of the plate with the handle at four o’clock and the blade at eleven o’clock. The fork tines rest over the knife with its handle at seven o’clock. (Think of an inverted ‘V’.) To indicate you are finished, place the knife and fork on your plate with their tips at ten o’clock and handles at four o’clock. Place the knife above the fork and put the fork tines down. Whew!

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**This article, written by Pamela Eyring, is courtesy of The Protocol School of Washington. Please contact info@psow.com for copyright or reprint information.

True Civility is in the Details

--Pamela Eyring, The Protocol School of Washington DC.

The civilian diplomat’s first impression must always be a best impression. But, there are many other opportunities for the civilian diplomat to live up to the tradition of –well –civility. The following Questions and Answers will help you fine-tune your manners and improve your relationships with new friends from around the world.

Question: What should I do when I meet someone who doesn’t remember me?
Answer: Never say something insensitive such as, “You don’t remember who I am do you?” Instead, rescue your new friend. Extend your hand, smile and say your name. You might get a good conversation started by reminding the person of when and where you met for the first time or by recalling your most recent meeting.

Question: What if I remember a person’s face, but can’t recall his name?
Answer: Don’t say, “I can’t remember your name.” It is permissible to say something such as, “Please tell me your name again.” If you simply extend your hand and say your name, there is an excellent chance that your new friend will state his or her name in response.

Question: How can I improve my ability to remember people’s names?
Answer: Stop telling yourself that you can’t remember names. Start telling yourself, “I’m good at remembering names.” Listen carefully when you are introduced. Focus on your new friend with respect and use his or her name often in conversation.

Question: How can I make a good impression on someone from another culture when we meet?
Answer: You should make good eye contact and extend your hand for a firm handshake. Be confident, but never overwhelming. Don’t come across as a jolly backslapping American. Tone down the U. S. glad-hand approach and greet your new friend with respect. Focus and smile.

Question: When I am introduced to somebody from another country, should I use his
or her first name?
Answer: Err on the side of formality. Don’t assume you can call a European or an Arab
by their first name unless you are invited to do so. Don’t ask somebody from another culture whom you’ve just met to call you by your first name. European executives may
work together for years and only use last names.

Question: Is there ever a time when I should use an honorific when introducing myself, such as “Hello, I am Ms. Eyring?”
Answer: Never apply an honorific to yourself when meeting somebody. Simply say your first and last name and smile.

**This article, written by Pamela Eyring, is courtesy of The Protocol School of Washington. Please contact info@psow.com for copyright or reprint information.